Monday, August 02, 2010

JDS Insights: July 2010

July has been a difficult month.

I mean yeah school is over for the summer and I've got some time off.

But things never stop being challenging. Or fucking annoying and frustrating depending on your mood/ perspective.

Firstly, I started off July confronting my relationship with my body. Normally that can mean getting ill, but I mean also taking pleasure in my body. The whole area of sex was always fraught with fear for me. My school taught me the mechanics and biology; my parents did their best with the experience and feelings (i.e. nothing). What I've learned is that I enjoy and abuse my body in equal measure. To be fair to myself, I've learned to take much better care of my body and I feel so much better for it.

Secondly, the summer holidays always begin (and this month ends) with an opening to soul-searching/ reflection but also that splinter-in-my-brain; that negative-self-talking-voice-in-my-head making itself known. I'm no longer compelled to get up in the morning in service of some commitment. I can do anything and it's potentially a recipe for getting lost in my head.

That's where this blog helps.


Jul 1: Getting ill isn't purely a physical phenomenon.

Jul 2: I have my own strengths. That doesn't make me a better person than you.

Jul 3: Why do we spend so much time working on our weaknesses instead of supporting our strengths?

Jul 4: My body knows more about my state of mind than I initially assume.

Jul 5: The body is a reflection of what's going on inside.

Jul 6: For most people, just because they are something doesn't mean they behave like one.

Jul 7: Who I am being is a choice. How I behave is also a choice. The closer they match, the easier life is.

Jul 8: Death follows life follows death follows life etc.

Jul 9: Am I just skin, bones, blood, guts or am I more than that?

Jul 10: There's more to living than just dying.

Jul 11: There is dignity in living well. Where is our dignity in dying well?

Jul 12: We all want to live an amazing life. Do we want to die an amazing death? Or are both of those just attention-seeking?

Jul 13: Masturbation is like eating a whole tub of Haagen Dazs. Instant pleasure. Longer regret.

Jul 14: One-night-stand fucking is like having fast-food. Instant gratification that lingers but leaves a bad taste in the body.

Jul 15: Having sex is like a three-course meal. Savour each lingering moment.

Jul 16: Making love is like spending a whole day with one special person. Complete-person sharing.

Jul 17: Nothing stays hidden forever.

Jul 18: If I say I hate someone, it's not them. It's what they represent. It's the part of myself that falls short of what I want.

Jul 19: In life no-one can (or needs to) hear you pray.

Jul 20: Do your own thing. Trust yourself. You know what's best for you. Your parents did their best. Fuck the rest of them.

Jul 21: It may not feel like it and you can't see it yet but we want you to succeed.

Jul 22: Everyone is loved.

Jul 23: Belief and faith are irrelevant 1: God loves everyone.

Jul 24: Belief and faith are irrelevant 2: everyone gets spiritual backup.

Jul 25: Belief and faith are irrelevant 3: God forgives everyone.

Jul 26: Believe in yourself. Have faith in yourself. Life takes care of itself.

Jul 27: Being present allows choices based on all available data to serve what I'm up to. Question is what am I up to?

Jul 28: How can anything alter if I am always thinking about tomorrow or worrying about yesterday?

Jul 29: If I don't sit still occasionally the noise can't stop and I won't hear anything.

Jul 30: There are deeper truths hidden in popular culture. The message has to get through by any means necessary.

Jul 31: There's a time and place for enjoying a dump. It's just not in conversation with someone. Act responsibly.

*Quote me liberally. Just say it was me.