Saturday, February 25, 2006

Back To School (Mini Maggit)

Aha...after the shenanigans of the day before half-term (see the pic!) I am sooooo knackered after the first week back...

The week before half term was our charity week.

In my madness I said to my tutor group (year 8 - so they're turning 13 years old) that if they raised over £200 for their Sponsored Silence, I would come into school dressed as Darth Vader. it turned out - they raised £230.

And it also happens that my form know about deep knowledge of the Force and all things Star Wars fact, they frequently bring it up in their Religious Studies(RS) Lesson. The RS teacher tells me people in my form say things to him like: "Sir, Mr. D'Souza thinks the Force is real."

I wasn't sure if they would actually do it...and you know what - they did. They were silent for a whole day.

No kidding.

A whole day.

One of the noisiest forms in the school...silent.

The science teacher loved it.

So anyway - I hurriedly bought a costume from e-bay. All the boys were wearing their own clothes on that day anyway - and there I was...teaching as Darth Vader.

It was received really well. The pic was taken by one of my Year 13 boys (17-18 years old) .

The pic doesn't really do the whole thing justice...I had a light sabre that changed colour from blue (for when Anakin was good) to red (for when he became Darth Vader) huh?

Well it maybe quite sad...just depends on your viewpoint...

As for right now - I'm glad the first week back is over...I'm soooo knackered...parents' evening on Thursday night that was draining because I was really having a go at them...and embarrassing them...ah the joys of teaching!


Thursday, February 23, 2006

Refuse/ Resist

I get angry more than I give myself credit for.

I'm also a master of making myself wrong and getting upset...ahh...the joys of being human.

The people closest to me bear the brunt of my nonsense...a simple miscommunication here, and a slightly raised voice there, and all hell breaks loose around me (well that's an exaggeration, but at the time it felt like that).

I surprise myself and the invective that spews forth from my mouth.

And yet I come back to something I learned nearly eight years ago - what I resist persists...the more I try and change something, the more things stay the same. Say anything about Landmark with my family?

You must be joking.

Same shit different day right?

The lyric that's particularly inspiring me at the moment is from an old classic metal song by a wonderful (Brazilian) band called Sepultura. Their song title is used for this post (btw - all my previous few posts have been song titles - has anyone noticed?) but the particular lyric is:
Silence means death
Stand on your feet
Inner fear
Your worst enemy

That's kind of how I'm feeling at the moment...


Friday, February 10, 2006

More Human Than Human

There is nothing like sex to demonstrate how human we are...I mean it's such a natural thing, but we're so 'weird' about that I mean that it's the thing that we all know about, we all think about, and we all lie about... I mean I know I've lied a lot about it.

Maybe it's my upbringing.

My parents never really mentioned it, and I seem to remember my dad saying that he felt school would take care of it.

Well I suppose school takes care of all the mechanics of it, but as for understanding the experience...well from what I've seen in the educational system in this country - it doesn't support young people learning what it's really like.

I was 23 when I first had sex...and it was brilliant (yeah I know that's cliched but hey).

I think that's quite late for a guy in the UK. I dunno - my contemporaries at the time didn't really mention whether they had done it or it an English thing? Is it a Goan thing?

I mean there are probably people reading this who know me, who are like...eww...(feel free to comment by all means!)

Talking with my mum about the whole area is quite funny. I always get struck by how much I don't give her enough credit. Mum's know best, and they know everything. Not quite sure about dads...I'm not sure I could have quite the same conversation about the topic. I don't know till I do it I suppose...

I mean, can you imagine talking about masturbation with your dad?

Onwards and upwards...


Sunday, February 05, 2006

It Could Be Sweet

Well it's that kind of dead time on a Sunday evening...we've just had lots of aunties over...nice family atmosphere.

I have to say I was a little nervous about them coming over - just in case they were critical or something...but not at all. It's all making me realise how nice it is to have our own space - to keep clean and manage.

It's also reminded me how hard it can be to get that space in London. Being in a relationship has meant we've got something to create together. I wouldn't have been able to do it all on my own - however much I might have liked to.

I still also have that Sunday evening feeling - a little tense, it's the end of the weekend, it was all over too quickly, and there's lots of things I feel I should have done, and haven't...not massively productive.

It's been a pretty intense week. Parents' Evening for Year 11 was full-on, but one point two of my boys were feeling very awkward as I told parents about seeing them outside school. Both boys were visibly relieved that I deliberately didn't mention seeing them smoking...
ahh what power I have!

I've also been feeling a bit under the weather...a cold doesn't have to be very strong to affect me - especially being around a lot of germ-carriers...I'm sure teachers' immune systems must get strongly affected - or maybe it was all the shouting I've been doing ;-)

Still - this weird state of mind is helped by my actually does work, but it takes a lot of perseverance, and concentration.

Hmm...ok more marking beckons...