Friday, January 04, 2013

JDS Insights: September 2012

What if he was *my* chemistry teacher?
September: the days draw in, darkness descends and we return to school. Summer is over. The longer I've taught, the more attuned I've become to the rhythm and routine of the year. September is a month that really marks the beginning of the cycle; another year begins.

This year felt different though. After a couple of weeks back at school I realised what it was - I had a sense of competence in my job. I actually felt as if I was a pretty good teacher. Oh how quickly illusions can shatter.

Apart from going back to school, September saw me fully caught up on a particular TV series - the genius of which was only appreciated recently. By this I mean Breaking Bad. I could see what all the fuss was about.

I actually received season one as a birthday present in 2011 - and just never got round to watching it. Starting earlier in the year, everything reached its peak in September. I describe the series as the 'white-collar' side of drugs. That's if The Wire is blue-collar and more immersive. Breaking Bad is a journey into one man's journey into the Dark Side (ha - got Star Wars in there). Thoroughly enjoyable...and I can't wait for the second part of the final season to start!
During September, I also actually did some writing. I was inspired, but knew that whether my writing would be published is a whole *other* matter. I've had confirmed what were only vague suspicions - when writing, one's audience are the most important thing. More difficult is choosing an audience to write *for*. On my blog - it's easy - friends, pupils or whoever stumbles upon (haha did you see what I did there?) this writing is the audience - there is no particular specialism and there's no reason why anyone would be interested in what I'm writing.

But writing *for* a magazine demands a particular discipline. There's work to do.

Perhaps that's something to explore: pick a specialism and write about that. My favourite blogs tend to do that...only trouble is - I can't think what to specialise in...

...enjoy the insights. Same format as August!


Sep 01: I spend most of the time unaware of what others see of me: good and bad. Sep 02: I can never gain awareness of how I am perceived until I give room for it. Sep 03: My life is just a blink in the universe. But it's a blink that still happens. Sep 04: We are hugely insignificant and minutely important at the same time. Sep 05: Once I can hear with my ears I can then listen with my heart. Sep 06: Feelings can either control us or guide us. Either way they only have the meaning we put on them. Sep 07: When commitment, action, expectation and results collide there's stress or power. Sep 08: Complaining to others who can do nothing about it, makes no difference. Sep 09: Being a complaint is different from having a complaint. Sep 10: We make committing to things far more difficult than it actually is. Sep 11: I am not scared of commitment. I am scared of giving myself fully and it not working out. Yet, if it doesn't work out I grow. Sep12: I fear mistakes. But I fear not growing. Yet without mistakes there is no growth. Sep 13: True freedom is the space to fail massively, succeed wonderfully and keep a smile. Sep 14: I spend my life chasing something outside me, only to discover inside is where it lies. Sep 15: There are things I love doing, yet I am afraid of doing them because I feel I should be better at them. So I stay still. Sep 16: It's never too late to say you haven't been listening. And then listen. Sep 17: I can't predict the outcome of any action with certainty. So I am left with a choice: act or not. Sep 18: I will either take the risk and grow or not take it and remain still. Sep 19: I am more committed to being safe and secure than taking risks in service of growth. Sep 20: Standing takes energy. Moving forward takes energy. Neither is inherently bad. Sep 21: We are all made from the same stuff. Sep 22: There are some things that are universal; there is a deeper connection between us. Sep 23: Having the choice between good and bad is true freedom. And it makes life interesting. Sep 24: Light doesn't actually stop shining; it just goes from one place to another. Sep 25: Speaking from the heart is only half the story. Speaking to another's heart gets the message through. Sep 26: Mostly, I don't have a clue and I am making it up as I go along. Sep 27: Sometimes the drama in my head is more fascinating than real life. Especially for avoiding dealing with something. Sep 28: I am more unconscious than I realise or am willing to admit. Sep 29: It's simpler to be more like a zombie than a human. Sep 30: It's easier to be asleep to most of life than participate fully.