Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Giving and receiving

Difficult situations happen. A lot of the time I don't know how to deal with them.

One of the hardest to deal with is relationships...they're always changing.

I find it hard to balance them, and a lot of the time I feel like I just annoy people. According to some, I'm not very discreet and I'm called 'King Blurt'. Some other people think I'm quite professional and sensible.

Some people I know find it easy to ask for what they want.

I'm not one of them.

Teaching psychology makes me think about my own situations...I think it takes a certain person to study and teach psychology. Someone hinted to me recently that perhaps I overthink things, and I should accept things about myself as they are...including my body shape.

I want to help people, and the planet. That's why I became a teacher. I really want to help the people I care about the most too...but it never seems to pan out quite the way I'd like it to. Someone I know has been through a really difficult situation, and I don't think I've been the best support I could have.

Even then, it's still expected that I'll be the one giving the support - I created this situation for myself. I prefer giving to receiving.

So what happens when the shit hits the fan at my end?

I think I'm becoming the worst thing I thought I ever could be...and something I never thought I would.

A cynic.

I'm wondering where my never ending well of optimism has gone.

J.

This post was inspired by calls not returned to people I care about, a post I received on MySpace and AQA Psychology