Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Friends will be friends

Not to get too cheesy, but getting married is a big deal.

I've also learned a lot about friendship during this process. I mean - being a friend is different from being in an intimate relationship, or being part of a family. I can exercise choice over my friends. It's heightened even more with the phenomenon of social networking sites...Myspace and Facebook present a whole new way of ignoring/ embracing people.

But actual friendship is interesting. My recent stag do (and impending marriage) has made me think about this. My stag do was wonderful - and what was interesting was the fact that there were a lot of people there who I hadn't seen for months - years even.

But it didn't feel like that! Perhaps because those friendships were formed in my early years, but I like to think it's something more than that. Even though we were all older, and our lives were moving in different directions, there was a shared understanding and communication that made the whole day really worthwhile.

It's all very well getting drunk on a stag do (I didn't - although I was drinking...and tipsy!) but I think that misses the point. I wanted to make sure that everyone who came along knew why they were there, and had the chance to mingle with some other people.

I felt it worked really well...it felt a little strange that everyone was gathered there purely because of me, but it was nice.

What's also interesting, is that we've got someone helping us with the wedding (a professional events planner) who got back in touch with us through facebook! An old friendship was rekindled - but only after a conversation to clear the air and get to nothing.

So here I am - thinking about what friendship means.

It means being able to say anything to someone
It means no-holds barred: the good, the bad, the ugly
It means saying what there is to say
It means always finding a way
It means valuing the silence and the space between
It means always understanding what they mean
It means never giving up
It means forgiving and clearing up
It means getting together
It means having to remember
It means respect
It means getting to nothing...
...and everything

I've been told before that I have no friends. That's not what I experience, but it will take something to maintain.

Love everyone right?

J.

This post was brought to you by Queen