Tuesday, July 10, 2007

I'm only Happy when it Rains

The weather leaves much to be desired. Whatever happened to the great British summer? It's July, and I should be struggling to wear my black suit/ black shirt/ black tie combo to school every day - but I'm not at all.

Perhaps this is all a result of climate change?

I'm sure the rain isn't always bad, but it really is my least favourite weather. Purely because I wear glasses. No-one has invented any practical automated-glasses-wipers...not practical I suppose.

I hope this weather doesn't last until August. That wouldn't be good for my fiancee and I.

Still, I have my stag-do to look forward to. The hen-party has been and gone. Good fun it was - the pictures were all over facebook. People have asked me if I was particularly concerned about the hen-party and what could happen. I wasn't particularly. I know I trust her. And she trusts me.

We also know that neither of us is perfect. My mother talks about compromise. Blair talks about a Third Way. I prefer the Stephen Covey concept of synergy - 2+2=5. I like to think that's how our relationship is - the whole is greater than the sum of its parts.

It's interesting noticing other people's relationships too. Everyone is at different stages. As a human I can't help but compare: young married couple, my parents, couples who have been together one year, couples where the people live on different continents...all sorts.

I think that what keeps a relationship going is continual expansion of the commitment. I was having this discussion with my best man. Well I suppose it was less of a discussion than me stating my opinion...hehehe...

What I mean is, that unless the people in a relationship are expanding the commitment, it will die. I think that's why things stagnate for people. Or fizzle out. I've applied this understanding to what I've been doing. Getting engaged was an expression of a commitment. We are always moving forward. Buying the flat was the next stage, planning and getting the wedding sorted is the next stage.

After that - well - we'll expand. We're always looking forward.

I also think that to get the most out of my relationship, we have to be doing this thinking and looking forward consciously. It's not like it 'just happened'. Everything I have, started as my own creation - including all the bad stuff...hahaha!

Creating and moving forward consciously is the ultimate freedom...I can't remember where I read that.

So really, it doesn't matter how the relationship is structured - you could be on different sides of the planet - but if the commitment is growing, and it's looking to the future - anything is possible.

I also remember hearing about someone called Louise Hay from a friend. I've been seeing how my diet really affects my health - but not in the usual way. I mean how it affects my asthma. Normally, I put my asthma down to what's going on outside: dust, pollen, sun, rain, humidity - whatever.

I never stop to consider it might be what I'm putting in that's causing it.

I noticed that when I reduced the carbs I ate, and increased protein and non-starchy veg...I felt soooooo much better (pretty much in keeping with what I'd read about metabolic typing).

Now apart from what I'm putting in, the Louise Hay thing relates my thoughts to my body...

...sounded a bit radical, but her suggestion is that every single thought takes on a physical expression in the body. For example...apparently back-pain can be a result of feeling you don't have support.

So...my asthma has been playing up. Traditionally, the changes in weather etc. would be the explanation.

But I can't help but think a little deeper...my diet, and my state of mind.

Maybe I feel suffocated and pressured? Unable to speak and not listened to or valued? Controlled? Over-burdened? Am I holding back?

I wonder what circumstances I might be allowing to dictate my state of mind? Anyone would think I've got some big event happening later this year...

I keep saying it, but there was a distinct shift in my health after the events at the end of May. I know there are things I haven't confronted, and that's what's keeping it going. Yes my state of mind is affecting my health. Who would have thought it?

Summer is going to be interesting.

J.

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