Monday, October 31, 2005

Time Passes...

Ahh well...it's been a few days...and what busy days!

In our new place, and time has moved on. I've been having ups and downs...lots of downs...and some ups...

I gotta say (for those of you that are interested, and those of you that aren't) - I love my treo 650...oh the screen, oh the functions...I'm just trying to find a decent launcher for it after Orange over-customised it. Initiate seems to be the way to go...

The main down has been seeing how much I don't treat my word with respect. I keep letting people down. Recently it's been upsetting for them, and for me...but something has shifted. I was able to be present to the mess I made, and not lose my brain totally.

The example is that I'm quite involved in my community (check out one of my links on the right: Young London Goans' Society) - it's grown to the extent that the elder people in the community listen to what I have to say, and I joined the older organisation.

Their AGM was on Sunday...and I thought it would be a two hours and I would be home...when I arrived though, it rapidly became apparent that it was going to be much longer...I hadn't fully checked the information I had received, and found that the association was having their EGM and AGM on the same day (yes yes, I know this is a little ridiculous, but that's the way it goes...)

Unfortunately, I'd promised my fiancee I'd be home by a certain time...and another member of my committee was expecting me to stay at the meeting...ARG...

Now I don't know about you, but when situations like this arise, I feel this little pit of discomfort rise in my tummy...as I called my fiancee I was faced with a choice...she was annoyed, and I was annoyed with myself...

I have been feeling as if everyone has been wanting to get at me recently: my family, fiancee, the committee I run, friends etc. etc. It wasn't so much self-pity, as feeling stuck between a rock and a hard place.

However this time, I saw some light at the end of the tunnel, and that was to just honour my word. No questions, but honour my word. It was my mistakel; being responsible was a way out. So I explained the situation and left early after speaking to my friend, my committee member, and the chair of the meeting. I left the points I wanted to make with her. Being the no-nonsense person that she is (she's great for that) - she told me how annoyed she was, and that I should have thought of it earlier.

It was really uncomfortable doing this, and I knew I was leaving something behind, but treating my word with respect gave me some freedom. And it gave something to my fiancee.

I feel like I'm back at square one...making small promises and keeping them...and getting bigger. At least - that's beginning to honour my word with a deep respect...

So that's kind of the down...

On the upside, my fiancee and have been exploring the creation of our own culinary delights!

I've never been great in the kitchen, and I've always maintained that once I had my own kitchen I'd be much more willing to give things a go. I always felt embarrassed at home to try and do anything, partly because my dad never did anything in the kitchen, and partly because my mum and my sister are so great at cooking things.

Actually they both regularly berated me for not trying harder...and my fiancee's family would have a go at her too (although she took it a bit harder than me!)

Well - in our own kitchen, we've started to learn ourselves! With a few recipes and phonecalls to my fiancee's mum, we have begun to enjoy ourselves. I'm proud to say we're a great team - and the kitchen is no exception...cleaning as we went through and all that...it was wonderful - and a sign of things to come.

We made a chicken curry, some chapatis and a dahl curry. My fiancee had actually prepared some of the ingredients previously (an experience we'd learned earlier). It looked and tasted great...a little bit of each, and it filled us up - almost a proper Goan couple!



Interestingly, I took these pictures on my wonderful phone...









...it also does taste as good as it looks...

We topped it off with some wonderful chocolate desserts from Marks and Spencer (what British institution!) - totally wonderful...both of us were left thinking WOW - are we going to eat like this every night?

It felt wonderfully special to cook and eat for ourselves.

This is the beginning of something special...

J.